The barrage of mental flogging is becoming more visible and obvious to me. From youth I have observed that there were layers between “me” and “truth”. I thought I was hidden from the “ordinary reality” but it has shown itself to be quite the opposite…ordinary reality was hidden from me.
How many times did I cry out for “something more” for something authentic to show itself?! I looked to anyone beside me hoping and sometimes desperately seeking some shared acknowledgement that surely I wasn’t the only one seeing the deception all around and entanglement inside of us?! I began to look for crumbs on the ground, a sign, a message that would direct me to what I needed in bringing this truth forth and finding others that were choosing the same thing. Then the delusion revealed that there were so many levels to this unfolding, so many self deceptions set in our way, so many layers between me and truth.
And who was me anyway? And what was truth anyway? Wow, the barrage all around me, the manipulated boxes put into new arrangements to temporarily appease the fake soul of be-ing creative. Deluge after deluge. Just as I would gain another breath, a real moment of authenticity the next big wave splashed into my face, I choked on the water, submerged by the weight and frightened by the instability and the image that I may lose myself in trying to swim for my freedom. How do I get back to shore…the shore-ness of fatal return.
Blahhhhh! Isn’t this everyone’s story? Of course it is because we have been enslaved, engraved, signed, sealed and delivered together. Blahhhhhhh!
No wonder turning towards our higher selves is such an ordeal! Our minds are so overstimulated with patterns of no return. It truly takes a lot of courage and inner reflection to recognize how much is not who we are and then on to how much is who we are.
Take your power and your love and let go.