The Decline

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The Decline:

As the material world melts away before my very eyes I empty into this longtime and familiar void. It has always been there but the prominence of its presence today is expansive. So I decided to let myself slide more into this sensation. I came face to face with death.

Understand that death, for me, is my friend. I grew up around many deaths, I have transitioned many people and animals through death and my Mother, my greatest spiritual teacher, had much comfort to offer while witnessing this experience. You could say I was clearly and divinely primed for the experience I Am having Now.

Many years ago I did a 40 day fast, mostly water and I watched my skin flake off, muscle tone deplete and weight loss to a large degree. It was an intentional spiritual journey with full days of devoted meditation. I wanted to go deeper into myself. When the conclusion of this fast approached and with many weeks of a modest diet to follow I came to a conclusion. That death was, indeed, a conscious choice. As I experience what I Am referring to as “The Decline” this reminder clearly returned to my consciousness and I now note, perhaps, I Am in the experience of conscious death.

My health is good, I’m in my early 60’s and I have no reason to believe a physical death is approaching. Yet, spiritually, my falling away from the material world is certainly suggesting death is present and only getting closer. I Am actually relieved to name this long term koan.

In the several past weeks I have been holding the intention of returning to and remembering my origins and cultivating the thought of “Source Un-in-terre-rupted”. I would say this has added a bump to the experience I Am having now with death.

As I feel this void I recognize that there is no desire in me to impulse a creation into form. I Am sitting in an un-manifested reality and choosing to stay there. Each time I explore the outer world, the material world I cannot reconcile my participation in it. I look inside to see if there is an impulse or inspiration to act and I find null and void. So I’m sitting with this experience.

It occurred to me that this may be returning to my origins, to Source, when we are in the one consciousness but have not been born into a humon suit. Because we have not entered the material realm we have not yet been granted the ability to create and bring thoughts into form. I identify with not bringing thought into form. I Am examining the insignificance of the material world, perhaps, even a closure with the experiment or exploration. Something about this exploration is indicating or suggesting a passageway to what we might refer to as “heaven on earth”.

There are moments during a meditation when you can actually observe the beginning of a thought. When you become aware of that first thought impulse you then have the opportunity to not choose its further creation. Thus mastering your own mind and allowing stillness to occur. This is what I Am referring to when I Am choosing to reside in the one consciousness and not manifest. Earlier on in years when I was practicing this art I was filled with desire to create, femifest and the task was very challenging. But the experience I speak of now as the desire to create, feminist is quite simply not there. I’m in a pause of sorts and not really getting any impulse to do or bring anything into form.

I feel this experience is a result of asking the big questions about our global situation. Everything in me says go within, don’t be distracted and, yes, maybe “heaven on earth” is right under our noses.

I’ve returned my attention to the ancient scriptures re-examining what could assist during these times. The messages are typically simple and pretty consistent…know thyself, find the kingdom of god/goddess within, be watchful of your involvement in the material world and find your transcendent self, to name a few. And I’m not too concerned right now about politically correct language so please excuse if you are offended…lol!

So it seems to me that the “material thang” is really tripping us up. And our transcendent self might be the last thing you consider when nearing your real physical death if you are lucky enough to have forewarning. There’s a big gap IMHO between the material world and what might lead to our origins. The question I like to ask is what can we even identify in our material world that suggests we are anywhere near getting home as in within? When did Source become part of the programmed opsolescence?

“Overthought”, out-of-control form creation and the inability to observe one’s own seeds of manifestation I think are more dangerous to the planet than anything else out there. And we wonder what can we do. Our every thought, word and deed is completely in our personal control. I suggest paying attention to everything we are bringing into form. Examine before creating just like conception, pregnancy. How many children have been be-earthed upon this planet not as a conscious choice? How many thought creations are born upon this earth not of conscious consideration but merely random acts and consequences of existence?

It did occur to me that perhaps we come to this earth simply to die?! We may be gathering all these experiences to ultimately have a conscious death experience and thus not have to return to this material realm of enslavement, pain and suffering. Death may very well be the exit of choice if and when we understand the multi-dimensional passageway. But who’s to say it isn’t right here if we haven’t tried it?! Who’s to say we even have to leave this earthly skin to experience it?!  Perhaps that can be a cue to how “heaven on earth” could really occur?!

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