Gentle As We Go – Vulnerability
As my yesterday delivered me to surrender I find myself cozying up today in deep gentleness. I heard the whispers signaling me to simply stop and sink in and allow whatever energy was seeking resolution to do so. This is not an unfamiliar place but one that reveals new spaces and insights each time. Understanding of “Onenss” takes another deep dive.
My sensitivity level is heightened in these moments and I Am called to be very protective of my field. There aren’t any thoughts or actions that occurred to create a mentalizing of this presence. It is purely in a sensational and knowing place. My body, mind and spirit certainly feel vulnerable and I can only allow what is so to be so.
The observer of self is watching and there is a sense of be-ing pleased with my no-action. Mother is standing by and happy that I have finally given it up so-to-speak and truly joined in her calibration.
We do what we do. Exploring is a dynamic that prompts us to test the waters, see how re-entry into the world feels. And when we come out of balance and then need to retreat one has to ask themselves “Why did I ever leave?” What prompted me to take a swim in the “out there”? My experience of this one is I honestly didn’t know that I had left home….seriously. So what happened? Home got redefined and a deeper understanding of what that really means.
I contemplate upon “The Great Sorrow” that Aldous Huxley used which I think was referenced from a Bhuddist teaching, and question if that referred to our experience of infinite “letting go” as we return home to ourselves?! And as we surrender and all of the illusory world melts away there is a genuine grief of letting go of the world as we knew it. This is similar to losing a loved one. Our world changes when they are no longer here. A familiarity is gone, even if it was an attachment, it’s gone none-the-less and we grieve. I have often noted that we grieve when anything leaves our life good or bad. Perhaps it is simply the “change” that we grieve?! And then, once again, we are delivered into the uncertainty, the mystery that dares us to recognize home never went anywhere.
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