Month: April 2017
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No matter what time of day or sitting in any particular perception the view remains to be “A Grey Dessert Landscape”. I can’t distinguish the temperature as it all seems the same. The visual appears cold but I don’t feel it that way. The Grey has contrast but no movement in sight. In fact, it’s the lack of sight that seems so big and filled with force. I can sense a wind storm and mighty gust coming at me but it’s only a sense because there is no movement. Can you feel the gist of turning stones over but once turned they are not?! You could have sworn you saw the stone do a flip and a flop yet as you observe nothing has changed. The Dessert is filled with tricks like that. You can be so certain one moment of what and how you view and then in the very next you have not a clue. Life can do that to ya when you get too heady and arrogant in your ways. Just when a “Castaneda” moment reveals an open portal and you hurriedly embrace the call everything that ever got you there vanishes. That’s when you know it is real…when “out” is only of your design and “in” truly is meaningless.
The relentless view is filled with visuals, roadways, dreams and dreamlike scenarios yet it is an echoing chamber that resounds in the hollow that is reflected back on to me. I view anything and everything in a “coming” and a “going”. Significance has fallen away. Delight is not an option. Remote viewing perhaps is the gift upon entrance. And now what? my ancient soul asks.
I sit in awe and reassessment of what I may have asked for, what sacred geometry did I explore and exit thru my own resonance? I Am adrift in a world that does not proclaim fame nor aliveness. I Am adrift in a world of empty baggage and traveling upon unseen roads. Doesn’t seem to be a destination yet I scurry into an imaginary “within” asking what may I create? What may I design? Is that not the offering?
I could be confused but only if I Am attached. As a drifter I can view and walk the scenes of evil, death, dreams and imagination. I can walk…forever. It can be gloomy if I choose, it can be remembered or not. I have become a bystander to the make-up of this moment. Gloomy, I know it sounds, and it can be but why choose that?
I Am exploring the grayness and the darkness of no life. It’s an ambient moment of “nothingness” but in the crude sense of the word.
Somewhere, somehow I trust by my own doing I opened these doors and I entered of my own free will. I did not know the consequences of my actions beforehand but I knew the desire for freedom prompted my every move. I wanted freedom from predictability, freedom of infinite solutions and choices, freedom to design life, freedom to see and create “seeing”. Yes, I was choosing the mastering of my own self and seeking my own reflection in my world.
Well, I ask for great things and later I experience my own doing. Now I Am in a Netherland of sorts unwraveling how I got here so I may continue to design a map so-to-speak.
The usual surroundings and very, very archaic paradigms I was born into has failed me from the beginning. It has presented one broken road block after another. The solutions were exhausted before I arrived – such a sorrowful state. Instead the recognition is of a very chaotic world with entanglements beyond the eons of imagination. It’s quite a mess to anyone who dares to step back and try to manage a life so-to-speak.
So the story goes…weary, weepy, creepy, dry, rhetorical and lifeless. Now where do we uncover our eternal clues and for what purpose, if any, are we here to exploit ourselves or be exploited?
Behind our addictions we smother these feelings and horrific thoughts. We seek some controlling nature of self or other or surroundings to drive the sanity we so desire. We must steer the ship at all costs or we end up here in a “A Grey Dessert Landscape”. What’s so bad and scary about “here”?!
I rather relish in the gloominess at times. It soothes the reflections of my other aspects, perhaps the dark side…call it what you will….it exists none-the-less. This is how we recognize the gloom of the world as well as to know what needs compassion and forgiveness. Purge is a bitch but we all seem to get through it!
I Am raw, wit full and longing in desire to raise the ante, shear another veil and remotely give be-earth to new existence. It just seems that has been happening in the sidelines all along. But what to make of these miserable suits and minds of distortion and run-away intelligences? For goodness and god’s sake can there be no avail of this crushing, blameless mystery?! It’s only in the reaching that the sword of self annihilation appears. Put the spear to the ground and become silent and one is granted the coming and going of a gentle skin. Do not “wonder” of the beyond or dare the infinite jump unless prepared to end up right here, within my very words, thrashing the obstacles, illusions of only a past that has laid rubbish upon the divine. Entangled in the mesh of imagination run wild at a loss of knowing origin ever in one’s life. These are the seedy truths and unwravelings that humon has cried forth from the ages. The wrath of something never to be named.
So I choose placement of my own spear. I discern the moments of removal and the moments of placement. I recognize how I steer my own existence, how I die and are reborn of my own hand. It’s not a doom and gloom path although one can imagine this. Rest assured one will want to examine it and become one with it to absolve it in one’s self and consciousness forever.
Here I sit observing all the inclinations to do this or do that knowing all along the predictable nature of each and every choice and non-choice. One can assess one’s self out of and into any thought, decision and direction. Then one can examine the genuineness of each choice especially in realms of integrity, purpose, humon dignity and what the hell – Nowness.
It was dangerous territory to explore what I have spoken to in my distant past as insaneness was the only embrace for our sorts. Now it’s obvious we are destined to this depth of examination and self creation. One best have the tools and know with all to go forward.
I sense as I write the voice within sounds British with an accent of sorts. I wonder what past incarnation is bleeding through into these thoughts?! Could be the voice of any genius’ or creative thinkers of our past but presently speaking in this Now Data Base. I recognize the process of thought as a Thoreau or Descartes, some deep philosophical thinker to be sure. Yet, I Am that I Am and I Am That.
Deep thinking, yes, I certainly Am a product of that. I question and remove theories and hypothesis and beliefs and systems just to get to the root of things. Once there I start the process over again…to go deeper to be sure. It’s endless and fairly painless if one does not attach their incarnate nature to the results or inquiry. There lies the borderline madness. If for any reason one personalizes the task of investigation they become vulnerable to the sheer madness of not having the answers one would suspect. The non-attached knows better. The non-attached allows no answers and allows timing for answers and allows dreaming and mystery to reveal itself whenever prompted. There’s a system to the madness and unmadness. Once embraced one is safe within one’s self to be sure.
A Few Days Later
That cold, grey landscape keeps gobbling up all the images, thoughts, reminders, etc. that want to confront any peace, ease or effortlessness. I can be swayed in any direction why not choose upliftment.
I seek to fly high and once again relieve myself of yet another closure, another memory and reminder of an old way. I seek to soar over the highest of high and be granted rewards and freedoms and blossoms and loving things.
Oh greatest love of myself I Am thankful for all good things and spectacular new beginnings and prosperity beyond my imagination. I Am grateful for upliftment and the simple pleasures, beauty and ingenuity of life. Bring me this paradise of ease and effortlessness. I Am smiling.
Dark, glib, ugly at best. I can feel this. I approach the all intelligences of my own self to rise up, be visible, be known and show me, invite me to a new opportunity…an opportunity of expansive knowledge, deepened peace and harmony and companions of similar brilliance.
All gifts gratefully appreciated!
Two Books are now ready for purchase.
This alchemical magic occurs while dancing “Between the Worlds.
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